Boxes and chances

My daughter recently celebrated her first birthday. Well, I guess her mother and I were the ones celebrating, she obviously didn't know much about it.

We made a pretty big deal about it but don't judge - she's our only child so these milestones feel pretty special. 

Her motor skills are still somewhat basic - she's not walking yet, but she is what you would call a chatterbox (seriously, even her doctor used this term, so I don't feel too bad using it too). We can already see how her development is unique. Other one-year-olds may have better motor skills but she more than makes up for it with other qualities, including the way she communicates with pretty much everyone she encounters... 

Watching a child develop is interesting and at the same time, serves as another good reminder to how we're all unique.

As a coach, I've been seeing this working with adults for many years, and what can I say - it's true that no two people are exactly alike.   

That said, adults adopt social norms and work very hard to "fit in" everywhere they go. After a few decades of doing so, we tend to act similarly in certain situations. This is probably why it's easier for us to categorize others without actually knowing that much about the person we're categorizing. I'll admit that I do this too. I'm not saying it's right, but it is natural. Humans tend to try and simplify the way we process information and make decisions, and this way of quickly putting people in boxes does save us time and energy. 

Of course, as a coach I am expected to work a little harder to try and figure out the person I'm working with, and I do. At the same time, being in this field for so many years did strengthen a certain "reading people" sense that I probably possessed to some extent since I was young, and it does save me time in some situations - though it's far from being foolproof. 

As a field that relies heavily on long-term human interaction and relationship building, and revolves around helping others reach their goals, pretty much any type of coaching requires having the ability to give people a real chance to change, and even to prove you wrong. I find that this is not only one of the most important lessons this job teaches you, it's probably one of the hardest skills to master as a coach. 

In a way, I guess you can say that in this line of work, your job is to help people climb out of a box they put themselves in.