Feeling Good

I had a show with my cover band recently, at a local establishment. It was a lot of fun. We made dozens of people dance, sing along and generally have a good time.

After the show, my bandmates and I were approached by two separate individuals. One was an older gentleman, who was probably​ (just being honest here) moderately intoxicated, and he handed us a $100 bill while thanking us for the show. Needless to say, we really appreciated it. After all, it was our first big tip!

The second one was a young woman (almost too young to like the kind of music we play...), who got her hands on a copy of our setlist for the night, and was collecting our autographs on that piece of paper, one by one. She was thrilled once she was able to go back to her friends with all five of them.

We were all surprised by these gestures. This was not, by any means, our best performance, and we are all relatively new to this business - so we were definitely not expecting them. Honestly, I think we were mostly busy with critiquing our own show...

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Last month, I got to experience a special event as a catchball coach - the first ever World Cup. For a game that's only been around for about 20 years or so, at least in its modern version, an event like this is a pretty big deal. I was fortunate enough to experience it with an amazing group of women athletes, a group that I got to put together to form the first Team USA in catchball.

If this sounds like something that warrants its own post (at least one!) - you're absolutely right.

Interestingly, one of the most special moments I had there wasn't even with my team, but with an opponent from Mexico, who came to me as the event was in its final hours and asked me to sign her team jersey on behalf of my team. Since I've never encountered such a request, or gesture, I repeatedly asked her if she was sure she wanted ME to sign it, and not my team captain, for example. I mean, I'm just the coach, after all...

She was quite sure. I signed it, and took a picture so I could, let's be honest here, tell this story and not sound like I'm BSing...

(Though the picture I'm sharing here is a different one from the same event. Obviously the full story is a little longer)

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It took me many years of working with people, providing what I consider to be important services, to realize that everyone, and I mean all of us, have one thing in common: we all want to feel good about ourselves.

In fact, if I had to summarize what I've learned in 17 years of coaching people - it would probably boil down to this one simple conclusion.

Sure, people will tell you about their goals, and these can be very specific at times. But in many cases these are only headlines, often not even a true reflection of what's really driving them towards change.

Music, as we know, has the power to make people feel good.

It can make them feel good about themselves, about others, about life. Yes, it can also do the opposite, but that part only further emphasizes the influence it has on us. And as I recently learned, if you have the ability to make music (yes, even if it's "borrowed" and not your own) - you also possess the power to make others feel good. And that is an incredible power to hold, one that you appreciate even more when you've acquired it later in life.

As a coach (especially in fitness), it can be a lot more challenging to make others happier through training. The type of training my clients regularly do is hard, exhausting, repetitive and most of the people I work with just don't like it. Some even hate it. Fortunately, being even slightly patient will, in most cases, reward them with a variety of results - and these will make them feel good again. This, in turn, can increase their chances to adhere and to keep succeeding long term, which will likely produce more results - and so on.

Over the years, I've been lucky enough to help others feel good about themselves in more than one way. Coaching sports teams, I was able to introduce many to powers and abilities they did not know they possessed. Some gained access to aspects in their own personalities that literally changed the way they looked at themselves and their place in the world.

In both fitness and sports, I was fortunate enough to help lead many to achievements, both as individuals and as part of a team. I was able to celebrate their wins with them, help them move on after losing, and mostly help them keep their eyes on the prize no matter what happened around them.

And now, after all these years of loving music from the sidelines, I get to go on the court myself - and use it to make people just a little happier for a while.

So, and here's your final cliché alert for this post - even though there's very little financial return on some of the things I invest my time in (thankfully not all), being able to do some good in this world is a pretty big reward in my book.

Doing so with things I love to do anyway is pretty damn priceless.